72 Hours Season 1 Episode 7 Review -“Fijian Jungle” – Friday, July 19, at 10 p.m. (ET/PT)
Helicoptered into the humid but stunning jungles of Fiji, three teams composed of three strangers must navigate themselves through impenetrable dense rain forests and sky-scraping mountainous peaks in order to locate a briefcase full of cash in just 72 hours. All they have to accompany them in their quest for $100,000 are their teammates, the clothes on their backs, a GPS and one bottle of water(per person).
Kristin, 43, branding consultant, San Francisco, Calif.
Michael, 40, hotel concierge, Sherman Oaks, Calif.
Rita, 29, Alaskan river guide, Annville, Penn.
Wade, 24, ad sales director, Bozeman, Mont.
Shelby, 23, financial analyst, Chicago, Ill.
Grace, 22, marketing coordinator, Phoenix, Ariz.
E.J., 48, retired Army sergeant major, Fayetteville, N.C.
Andrea, 30, substitute teacher, Marietta, Ga
Dameon, 39, musician, Los Alamos, N.M.
This is the hardest review I’ve had to write yet. Obviously that’s because it’s a reality show, and I know the true reality since I was there…You don’t, however, and that makes it difficult, since I’m not sitting in front of a television to compare my facts with the edited version, only a notepad, where I took crude notes while watching the show earlier.
I stand by my opinion that it’s ridiculous to cram 4 days 3 nights of filming into 1 hour laden with commercials, split between 3 teams. This show could have easily been a to-be-continued-type 2 or even 3 hour suspenseful show.
So, let’s see…the basic race was set in what the producers and Brandon call the “toughest terrain yet” for the competition series. We were told before hand that they saved the best athletes for this episode. Each team seemed like it was set up with AT LEAST one survivalist…or one guy who at least was a proactive leader, and aside of Green Machine’s Flat Tire, Andrea, and Red Team’s Lying, Sniveling, Sabotaging Non-Navigator, Mike, everyone seemed to be in pretty decent shape.
Even though I was obviously on the red team, I was torn between wanting green and red to win while watching the show. I mean, really. E.J. CARRIED Andrea over his shoulder while I carried Mike….who only was leaning heavily on mine. I thought that was interesting cinematography, while a big guy is carrying a tiny girl, a tiny girl is carrying a dude who is bigger than her, who lied bold-faced to her, and who outright tried to sabotage the team.
So, the show. The river. I fell out. At my viewing party, we laughed really hard at the editing, because if you check out where I fell, there’s absolutely no white water. So there I am, “flailing and flailing” in still, slow moving water after an intense shot of gurgling bubbling white water…it is indeed ironic and hilarious. 🙂
Blue hits every one of the check points first. I’m not sure they ever lost the lead. The idea of fishing on the first night was logical. Definitely not a bad idea…no nearly as bad as drinking that river water. There was some serious comic relief when Grace asks, “Do you think the other teams are doing this?”
No. They weren’t. They were purifying water by boiling it. OR they were getting relief drops (which include 5 gallons of water).
Suddenly, you hear, “This is the lowest I ever felt.” (I included the grammatical error, because that’s what I heard). AND the puking commences. It’s like the episode in Family Guy where they drink Ipecac Syrup to compete for pie.
OK. OK. OK. It wasn’t THAT bad, but man, we watched the clip of Family Guy like 10 times laughing at the way it was put together.
So blue is puking everywhere, while red is following the liar into a dead-end. huh. Meanwhile Green machine is trying to repump their flat tire while screaming out tough guy army things. 🙂
Seriously…should have been a longer show.
Incredibly, E.J. is featured eating a slug in FIJI…a slug that doesn’t make him sick at all. I’m very happy that is the case, since he’s a super cool guy, and I’d have been devastated if anyone but me had gotten sick. I’m very disturbed, however, that it seems to be promoted on the show as a safe way to do things in the jungle.
It is NOT a safe route AT ALL. The slug I ate proved it. Brandon, maybe you should include that in your next interview with whomever. Slugs are NOT safe to eat raw! Get it right!
Slugs and snails can carry RAT LUNGWORM, people! No matter where you eat it! Cook it! NOT a smart move. Obviously I made the same mistake, and paid dearly for it.
So it comes down towards the end of the race. Green Machine has broken down…the tire is flat and unresponsive.
It’s down to Blue and Red! Woah! After being detoured by a douchey dude from LA, the ladies make up speed and drag him along for the ride while we stalk blue team for the money.
Then Mr. “I don’t think I could get lost” runs out of gas. Dammit.
So, Blue Team gets their hands on the cash, and red team is shot sitting down bumming out.
OK…now for teams.
Wade – You pulled more than your share, but since you were “the man of the group” I guess that ended up being expected? 🙂 Nice idea with fishing. Great job motivating the ladies. It was amazing that you guys went for the last two days without a single drop of water. Nice job, camels! 😀
Shelby, way to push towards the ocean! Scary times are those when you begin to smell and hear things that aren’t there. Nicely done not losing it in that moment. They did well making the moment comical for the viewer.
Grace, man they got a lot of nasty quips from you about Wade. I’m sure there was much more to say about the man. 🙂 Much more that you probably said, too. Nicely done keeping up. “I live by the ocean.” “Do you know how BIG the ocean is?” <–Great moments.
E.J. Of course you led them, and you led them well. GREEN MACHINE! Ummm…Apparently you guys were the only team to get food the entire race. That’s an intense race! 😀 No more uncooked slug consumption or you could be paralyzed. You’re an animal, unpinning the bamboo raft from the rock and carrying your dead weight up a mountain.
Andrea…Don’t do a competition like this again, unless you…no…just don’t. You belong behind a desk.
Dameon, I like you! It’s a bummer we didn’t get to see more of you! Good job taking care of Andrea and pushing on!
Hmmm…this one’s a toughie. I don’t like to hold grudges, but Mike…I don’t hate you, nor do I even think of you outside of this review, but I wouldn’t lose sleep if I never saw you again in this or subsequent lifetimes. You lied, cheated, and stole from your OWN TEAM (not that doing that to others would be allowed either). You knew why we were there, because Kristin wanted to be able to adopt a child, and I wanted to get my brother an epic wheel chair and still you looked at me and used my brother’s name in vain in order to get us off track, acting like you were doing the right thing. You deserved much worse, but I guess that’s the way the cookie crumbles. The show’s editing saved your life, I’m sure of it. I hope no “lady” gets caught in that web EVER. I honestly wonder if you were an actor added to the team, simply to sabotage us, since you didn’t do anything to assist, and your choices were so cruel.
Kristin, I wanted you on my team from the first moment I saw you. I’m stoked you were. Running up that bamboo ridge with you was AWESOME! Running along the grassy ridge with you was AWESOME! Rock hopping in the River with you was AWESOME! Eating with you…wait..no…apparently we didn’t eat… anything…Being in shelter with you on nice padded duff…wait…I guess we only did that one night? I loved the moment when you made Mike shut up, because his deal was to NOT TALK ANYMORE FOR THE REST OF THE JOURNEY IF WE FOLLOWED WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE HIS BOLD FACED LIE. Ultimately, I’d love to do the Amazing Race or just a random scavenger hunt with you someday!
Rita….huh. That’s me…the 8.5 YEAR WOUNDED VETERAN that has been in two wars, survival school, and then sold everything and drove to Alaska. Interesting that they left out the veteran part the entire show…and most things survival related. Eh. No biggie though. I’m not sure what to say about myself. I shouldn’t have listened to Mike. The first time, where it seemed like I was siding with him…I wasn’t. I was just directing us the correct way to go. The second time…he lied to my face and continued lying the ENTIRE way until it was finally brought out in front of the camera that he sabotaged us and cost us A LOT of time. Did anyone notice how large the red thing on my back was? I’m not sure what was in it…or how I got it…but yeah, apparently I carried a decent amount of weight the entire time…oh…and in Five fingers.
I liked the “I have a God D*mn MACHETE” clip! 😀
There you have it, folks! Comment on!