Post Parasitic Hurricane Explosion

When I found out that I had Rat Lungworm Disease from the Angiostrogylus Cantonensis (That’s a big word for gnarly parasite), John began immediate research. I was nearly comatose…no researchfu came from me.

However, once I began to recover, I became interested in what exactly was giving me these lesions on my brain. I wanted to know why I couldn’t defecate nor urinate on my own…why I was unable to walk or sit up when just weeks ago I was running 20 miles without thinking, nor resting.

I wanted to know how to make the pain stop.

There was BARELY any info.

The CDC actually says it’s a mild issue….except serious cases.

Then you might die.

The only sentence dedicated to something as serious as my case?

“However, serious complications can rarely occur,  leading to neurologic dysfunction or death.”

Ummmm…really?

There’s NO  INFORMATION ON THE RECOVERY!!!!

So I’m documenting mine.

Mine was a serious case.

Today I’ve been out of the hospital about 4 1/2 months.

My colon and bladder was shut down. They say you can have difficulty urinating and defecating after the fact. Well, the truth is, your insides feel something like ground beef. Or…like I’m at the losing end of a bar fight…that included tire irons and crow bars.

Since I’ve been out of the hospital, it’s been a regular challenge. Bathroom breaks are a huge issue, quite painful, regardless of which number I’m doing.  My muscles don’t contract the way they used to.

Apparently, they call that Elsberg Syndrome. Urine doesn’t want to leave sometimes. (No. I don’t have herpes)

Today I didn’t have trouble defecating.

Today I had the “wonderful” experience of exploding before quite getting my pants down.

Huh.

30 years old…not wearing a diaper, but might need one.

Huh.

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THANK (insert whomever you choose) the Universe that I met my soulmate BEFORE all of this happened to me!

So the Oxycodone they had me on for the last 6 months has the lovely side effect of constipation.  I rarely had diarrhea or loose stools for half a year…

Now that I’ve been cold turkey the last 12 days, I feel like I’m really experiencing what my intestines and bladder are genuinely struggling against.

It went like this:

We went to Root’s Market (We go most Tuesdays to visit an awesome organic distributer…His name is Randall…you must hang out with him). We walked around.

I used the restroom twice. The second time with slightly more urgency.

I said something like, “Lover, I must go to the restroom. It’s urgent enough to walk that direction now, but not urgent enough to run.”

Successful evacuation.

We finished shopping and got into the car.

We drove down the street.

My tummy began to rumble…an unsettling rumble. I told John I must use the restroom again.

He was slightly surprised and accurately concerned.

The quiet moaning that’s probably louder than I realize commenced as the pain intensified.

We saw a McDonald’s and almost pulled in, but there was a gas station on the other side of the intersection, so purely out of principal, we drove just a bit further to avoid the fast food joint.

Luckily nobody was in the restroom there and it was only one stall

It was a freakin’ disaster. As soon as I locked the door, I knew I was in trouble.

To spare you the details, about 1/8th of the time I spent in the room was dedicated to figuring out what to do. The other 3/4 was cleaning the place and myself.

You can guess what the last 1/8th was spent doing.

John has been juicing for us twice a day, most days…

Beets.

That’s all I’ll say. Beets are some scary shit (pun COMPLETELY intended)!

WEEEEEEEE!!!! I 'm in love!

I lost a cute pair of underware, and almost lost my favorite pair of gifted pants!

I had another pair of pants in the car. The soiled pair is in the wash at the moment.

Now I’m showered, smiling (not that I stopped), and feeling pretty good.  The plants and I are sitting in a sunny spot, ready to teach Zumba tonight.

So yeah…How many Zumba instructors come from pooping themselves, park in the handicap spot, hobble into the gym, then provide you with a killer workout?

I’m pretty sure I can say…just Hurricane Rita!!!!

Tomorrow’s not guaranteed.

Neither is having all of your faculties intact tomorrow.

Appreciate your body while it’s functional! 😀

 

Related stories:

Parasite Attack!!!

Post Parasitic Hurricane Drizzle

Survival Training

Call Me a Dirty Girl!

Weather Changes

Defying Death to Dance

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5 Responses to Post Parasitic Hurricane Explosion

  1. Susan Schlatter April 30, 2013 at 5:30 PM #

    POOP-POOP-DE-DOO!!!!!!!!! How you can get through this with such an amazing attitude is a wonder to us! Keep on zumming kid!
    love ya,
    s and b

  2. Kana Ng April 30, 2013 at 11:17 PM #

    You are and always have been amazing Rita.
    -Kana

    • Hurricane Rita May 2, 2013 at 9:49 PM #

      😀 One day you call me a stinker, the next I’m amazing. HA! 😀

  3. Someone Else May 1, 2013 at 2:05 AM #

    Rita, I’m glad you’re a fellow wordpress’er because frankly I had no idea what had happened, only that it did.

    I’m so proud of you for putting your experience out there and documenting your recovery. I am even more happy that you did not, “in some cases, DIE.”

    You are a force to be reckoned with and I await the day for an awkward MILT reunion where I can give you a big hug.

    All the best, sweet lady!

  4. Hurricane Rita May 2, 2013 at 9:52 PM #

    I’m stoked I didn’t die, too! 😀 We should make our own awkward reunion. I’m on the east coast! 😀

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